I’m not really sure what I want to write, only know that my fingers feel like typing and I have this peculiar feeling that I can’t quite isolate. Let the ramblings commence – in no particular order.

  • Been doing a lot of thinking and reflecting lately and a weird feeling of isolation and realizations have suddenly surfaced. Which has inevitably led to more questions.
  • I know some people might think that I am being extremely weird lately as I have completely isolated myself… I hope they know that it’s really not them, I’m going through another phase of my life where reflection, isolate and changes are needed (ironic since I both need the isolation yet feel it as if it’s something unwanted).
  • Sometimes I wonder whether or not I will be able to find what I have tried for so many years avoiding. Or is it too late? Has it been too late? Or is coming close to being “too late”? … Is there even this such thing as “enough time” or “time”? How do I know that I’ll wake up tomorrow to be able to try anything again?
  • Sometimes I romanticize about being ignorant because I think it will allow me to blindly enjoy these so called “earthly pleasures” but then again will it really?
  • Sometimes I romanticize about the past, wishing I lived in a different era. But really, they’re all the same; history is the past, but it created the present and it dictates the future.
  • I distance myself from people including my family when I feel anxiety and internal discomfort or confusion. Yet ironically enough, I wish I had one person who could completely and wholeheartedly understand me.
  • There are some things in life that have a profound affect on us and sometimes we don’t realize it until much later. Other times we discover it, but when we shift the lenses in which we view and experience life to another perspective, we discover yet another new phenomenon.
  • Life is about asking the [right] questions and the processes that result from the questions.
  • I’m trying to appreciate everything that I have been blessed with. However, I still feel guilty because I feel that I am not being as good of a person as I could be and that I still take the majority of my blessings as something for granted.
  • I recently started to take more time out for myself to read about everything and anything. The current focus as been predominantly on history and about religions.
  • I started to read an English translation of the Qur’an and in the process have become more self-reflective resulting in new discoveries about myself.
  • I had a difficult time crying once a year and now I feel like an emotional mess.
  • Upon realization of certain things, I fear that many things will be irreversible. Yet simultaneously, I know that trekking into the unknown is necessary not only for self-development and improvement, but it is a necessity of life – hopefully for the better.
  • Old habits die hard, but self-realization and reflection is inspiring me and motivating me to change many of my ways; again, hopefully for the better.